SPACE OPs Vault Boy

Space operations: boldly going where absolutely none of us have gone—because we’re still inside a windowless SCIF arguing over who touched the keyboard last. I “operate in space” the same way a guy with a remote operates his TV: aggressively, with snacks nearby, and occasionally yelling at things that don’t respond. I’ve never left Earth, but I’ve definitely rotated a satellite while rotating through my third cup of coffee, pretending that counts as orbital experience. Honestly, it’s less Star Trek and more “secure room goblin with admin privileges.”